Politeness

Politeness is one interesting word. According to the dictionary definition it has to do with showing good manners in both behavior and words. It has to do with being courteous, considerate, civil, gentle, and respectful. Being polite requires the practical application of awareness of others. The opposite is the antonyms of the previous description. I understand that the opposite of politeness could be summarized in one word: ‘jerk’. I prefer a more polite definition I used several times before to describe that behavior or type of person if you will: ‘an contemptibly obnoxious person’.

I learned through the years to observe people’s behavior from an analytical standpoint with no intention of judging but to seek understanding. Beyond academic level, naturalization, culture, position, type of job, age, religion, or other social categorizations. I like to see people. Everything else is sometimes an excuse to hide what we really are. In my daily observations I see all kinds of behavior. If you ask me, politeness is like learning to draw, paint, sculpt, learning a sport, playing a musical instrument, or singing. All these things can be learned but not all come naturally to us. You can tell when someone is doing things mechanically because they practice or because it is how it is done in an acceptable manner, but it is not something that flows from that person. Take it from me. I have pictures as a kid with many musical instruments, I went to music lessons, tried to learn how to play the saxophone, the bass, and the guitar, and nothing. I don’t make me tell you about my singing.

How to be polite can be learned, and should be learned. Better yet it should be taught. My family knows that we can’t order food in a restaurant or even a ‘drive-thru’ without the proper acknowledgement of the person serving us at that moment. You say the “good morning”, or whatever applies, followed by “How are you?”, “May I”,”please”, and “thank you”. This is not a script. It needs to flow and it needs to be real with everyone. Sadly our society is lacking the capacity of politeness because each person is focused inwardly and seeking only their own personal satisfaction and selfish desires. That is what flows naturally through many people. I understand that certain traces of personality and insecurities that come with antecedents and social upbringing may play a part in how people relate to one another, but still that is no excuse for not being polite.

Politeness can be learned and should be taught as I mentioned before. In a society where people only love themselves it makes a great difference not only for social health, but for physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Good manners matter. Some people fake it and others follow the rules mechanically trying to let it flow, while others are ‘naturally’ polite. Others rely upon a greater source of ‘power’ to relate to people. As people we have many flaws and fall in the behaviors that satisfy our selfish nature…

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

Galatians 5:22-33