Politeness
Politeness is one interesting word. According to the dictionary definition it has to do with showing good manners in both behavior and words. It has to do with being courteous, considerate, civil, gentle, and respectful. Being polite requires the practical application of awareness of others. The opposite is the antonyms of the previous description. I understand that the opposite of politeness could be summarized in one word: ‘jerk’. I prefer a more polite definition I used several times before to describe that behavior or type of person if you will: ‘an contemptibly obnoxious person’.
I learned through the years to observe people’s behavior from an analytical standpoint with no intention of judging but to seek understanding. Beyond academic level, naturalization, culture, position, type of job, age, religion, or other social categorizations. I like to see people. Everything else is sometimes an excuse to hide what we really are. In my daily observations I see all kinds of behavior. If you ask me, politeness is like learning to draw, paint, sculpt, learning a sport, playing a musical instrument, or singing. All these things can be learned but not all come naturally to us. You can tell when someone is doing things mechanically because they practice or because it is how it is done in an acceptable manner, but it is not something that flows from that person. Take it from me. I have pictures as a kid with many musical instruments, I went to music lessons, tried to learn how to play the saxophone, the bass, and the guitar, and nothing. I don’t make me tell you about my singing.
How to be polite can be learned, and should be learned. Better yet it should be taught. My family knows that we can’t order food in a restaurant or even a ‘drive-thru’ without the proper acknowledgement of the person serving us at that moment. You say the “good morning”, or whatever applies, followed by “How are you?”, “May I”,”please”, and “thank you”. This is not a script. It needs to flow and it needs to be real with everyone. Sadly our society is lacking the capacity of politeness because each person is focused inwardly and seeking only their own personal satisfaction and selfish desires. That is what flows naturally through many people. I understand that certain traces of personality and insecurities that come with antecedents and social upbringing may play a part in how people relate to one another, but still that is no excuse for not being polite.
Politeness can be learned and should be taught as I mentioned before. In a society where people only love themselves it makes a great difference not only for social health, but for physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Good manners matter. Some people fake it and others follow the rules mechanically trying to let it flow, while others are ‘naturally’ polite. Others rely upon a greater source of ‘power’ to relate to people. As people we have many flaws and fall in the behaviors that satisfy our selfish nature…
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-33
The art world seems to be socially stratified as some ‘selected group’ of individuals decide what is art and what is not, who is an artist and who is not. The elitist fame of art is not a new trend. It has been like that for many years not only in art acquisition but in art education. No wonder why it is marginalize from the education system. If people can’t find a practical purpose for art education it will always be the first thing to be cut away when funds are limited. Let’s have something clear, when I speak about ‘education’ I am not talking about formal academic education alone but knowledge. When I speak about practical purpose I am not referring to art as objects you can use but knowledge you can expand to different domains. The problem is that only a ‘selected group’ get to understand the ‘mysteries’ of art like it is something out of this world. Some explanations appear to be in a language from another planet to which some people can’t relate to. The opportunity to reach people gets lost in translation. Even a trip to space begins with training on earth. You don’t take people outside our atmosphere to then teach them how to wear the helmet that would keep them alive.
What is your goal? What are you looking for? What is the motivation for what you are doing? What is the most important thing for you to obtain? Why am I asking all these questions?
Because You Do Not Know
May has been a very exciting month. Between being virtually present in a few events (my pieces and posters), computer class at the Literacy Center of Milford, the painting and sculpting parties in Milford and Monroe, the presentation last week at The Grove in New Haven, serving at church, my daughter’s birthday, our community group, family time, and those quiet times by the pool, I can’t complain. I am thankful that I get to do different things. There is never a dull moment for sure. It also gives me the opportunity to meet new people. I am also thankful for all the people I came in contact this month in person, online, and by phone. It is good to meet people and moreover connect with them, because you do not know how one connection leads to another and to others.
We often believe that crossing paths with someone and eventually developing a connection is coincidence. I disagree with that perspective. I believe there is a reason and purpose for those casual encounters. Sometimes all it takes is a ‘hello’ to make a connection. We don’t know if that hello can open the door for you to be a blessing to someone. Some people need a chance to be heard. Some people are looking for someone to share a word. At times we live so in a rush that we miss those opportunities.
Be aware, pay attention, and stop. Perhaps that is the moment when a new connection will be made. Acknowledge the people around you even if you don’t know them. Smile, start a conversation and let it happen. People are more important than tasks, or work, or the things you think you need to do. Perhaps that connection becomes the business connection you’ve been looking for. Don’t miss the opportunity to turn every day in a new adventure.
June is going to be a great month with a new adventure and more people to meet and connect with. This includes training for my new job, lots of painting and sculpting parties, both open to the public and private. There is also an online presentation I’m participating in Wednesday, June 3rd. I’ll be posting details on the homepage. Please, check it out. Join us at one of our painting and sculpting parties. It would be an honor to have you.
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