Control and Action
Self-regulation is said to be one of the most important skills a human being can develop for a prosperous and emotionally healthy life. Self-regulation is the capacity to voluntarily control one’s impulses and also to start doing something or take action as required. It is the best tool against idleness, emotional outbursts, and ‘couch potato’ syndrome. Control and action are both triggered by self-regulation or the lack thereof.
Self-regulation applies to behavior as it applies to learning strategies. It could be a little controversial to describe how self-regulation in relationship to behavior when our society teaches that we can do whatever we want whenever we want, although we have constantly seen the consequences of that mentality in the daily news. Self-regulation challenges the notion that our behavior doesn’t affect others therefore is private and personal. However, self-regulation is a human capacity that differentiate us from beasts and wild animals. We can decide to stop a behavior or to initiate a behavior accordingly based on our capacity to interpret actions and consequences symbolically. Without that capacity we won’t be able to consider how different paths of action would produce environmental responses affecting our behavior in a positive or negative way. That’s where self-regulation and learning dance together.
There is a behavior reality and a cognitive reality when it comes to self-regulation, but where does it develop first? From a behaviorist perspective we develop self-regulation through trial an error. A baby requires guidance in order to learn to control certain behaviors that are not socially acceptable. The person in charge to provide an initial image of society acceptance is the parent. Of course, when a parent allows the child to do whatever they want whenever they want the image of society develops in distortion of reality. Do I need to write about the consequences or product of this distortion or are you getting me?
From a cognitive perspective behavior and environmental interpretation go hand in hand from the time we are born. A child begins interpreting environmental responses in relationship with actions. Best example is when they cry, you hold them, they stop crying, you put them down, they cry, you hold them, they stop crying, and so on. Babies can’t articulate when they are hungry but can let you know clearly and they know that in doing that they get fed. As humans grow older, behaviors are more complicated and the environmental interpretations do too.
I Want Something Else
Several years ago I began teaching children with disabilities. I entered an uncharted territory and had no idea what to expect. It was an adventure from the start. I learned a lot about human behavior during those years.
“I want something else!”
That was the cry of one of my students. She repeated this words until she was screaming her heart out. Nothing could calm her down. Until her attention was diverted she would continue claiming she wanted something else but she would never say what she wanted. In multiple occasions I took walks with her trying to calm her down. During our walks she asked the same set of questions in the same sequence several times, “What are we doing after that?” She wanted to know what she was doing next after the walk and five or six events after that until the agenda of the day was completed.
Wind by Ivan Tirado
I don’t think we are so different from her. We often want something else. You heard this before, “The grass is always greener on the other side”. We are always searching for something different from what we have, but we can’t tell what it is. We often want to know details of the future ahead of us. We want to be certain we covered all the bases. We want to make sure we are in control. The truth is we never are. We may claim we are but we are not even knowing what the future holds or knowing what we want, we are not. Honestly, that is a good thing.
Wanting something else provides an opportunity for hope. It allow us to consider the difference between need and want. Not being in control allow us to be thankful of the now. The past teaches us how we got here, how to live today, and to work hard for a better future. We can’t be idle but constantly moving towards our goals with the compass of hope.